How to Get Rid of Players
and Make Sure they Don't Come Back
IntroductionQ: Why would the people who run an online game want to get rid of their players?
A: Who knows?!
It's obvious that many of them do want to lose players, because they deliberately do things to cause it to happen.
This talk therefore fulfils a very real need.
If you don't want to lose players, do the opposite.
But this is not usually enough!
Something more specific to the needs of online games is required.
Critical Mass that's all players areBelow a certain number of players, a multi-player game cannot function.
Two main ways to increase size of critical mass needed:
Charging Methodsthat really frightenGolden rule: always remain studiously legal.
Charge for everything you can think of:
Have at least 6 pricing policies, all tailored to the needs of non-existent people and with no way to compare them.
Make signing on a challenge in itself.
Players as Game DesignersYou say:
You don't say:
Player designs make a game unattractive to all but that player.
Tenets of Crash DesignKey point: don't do it so often that they expect it.
Delay all stages in the bug-fixing process.
For optimum results, crashes should:
Client Software making your game hackableWhy waste time making your game unplayable when you can get other people to do it for free?
Challenge hackers! Say your system is foolproof. Mock them.
Your client should:
Fomenting Discontent the easy wayThe game itself can annoy players, without help.
Give it a fixed lifespan.
Reward players automatically for harming others.
Make gameplay suddenly become very difficult at an arbitrary level.
Make your game shallow.
Make your user interface picky and petty.
Everything should be visually unattractive, or clash horribly.
20% of the help files should be missing or out of date/incorrect.
Game Management an undue expenseRegularly accuse players of cheating.
Don't train your game managers.
Beware! There could be plenty more players where the ones you scare off came from!
ConclusionOf course, this hasn't been a talk about how to lose players. It's been a talk on how to keep them.
Some of what I've described may seem rather unbelievable, but it's all grounded in reality.
The best way to lose players is not to have them in the first place.
9th April :\webdes~1\ .htm