The Famous Man Hat

        There was once a man who was so famous that everyone in the country knew him. "Hello!" they'd say to the Famous Man, and he'd have to stop and chat with them even though they were strangers to him.
        One day, the Famous Man was sitting in a restaurant with his sister. "It must be great to be famous," she said. "Everyone tries to please you, and you can do things that you could never do if you weren't famous."
        "It's not at all great," said the Famous Man. "It's quite the opposite, in fact. Because I'm famous, I can't do what I want to do."
        His sister looked around the restaurant. "But look," she said, "we're sitting at the best table and eating the best food. We couldn't sit here and eat this if you weren't famous."
        "I'll show you what I mean tomorrow," said the Famous Man.
        Next day, the Famous Man turned up at his sister's house in a taxi. "Come on!" he said. "We're taking a trip!"
        The taxi took them to the docks, and they boarded a big boat which sailed them to another country.
        "I'm not at all famous here," said the Famous Man. "Let's see how we get on."
        They found a restaurant, and asked for a table. "It's very busy, so you'll have to queue," said the waiter.
        "This wouldn't have happened if you were famous," said the Famous Man's sister, but the Famous Man just smiled.
        When they finally got a table, it took ages for the waiter to take their order, and even longer before he eventually brought it. But the food that was supposed to be hot was cold, and the food that was supposed to be cold was hot! Hot bananas! The Famous Man and his sister were not happy.
        Finally, the Famous Man could suffer no more, and he called for the manager. "This food is awful," he said. "We had to wait an hour for a seat, and the service is also very poor. Look, even my spoon is dirty!"
        The manager grinned, showing his horribly yellow teeth. "Well that's just hard luck for you, then, shorty, isn't it?" he said.
        "Don't you know who I am?" spluttered the Famous Man.
        "I've no idea," replied the manager.

So


        The Famous Man and his sister ran away without paying.


Illustration by Roy Bartle
Image size: approx. 34K.


Copyright © Richard A. Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk)
21st January 1999: sbos15.htm